


夢を信じて - Yume wo Shinjite

by MikazukiMunechika305



Category: Hakuouki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 09:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5410841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikazukiMunechika305/pseuds/MikazukiMunechika305
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>{“You idiot! Don’t you get it?! They’re not angry at you! They’ve always believed in you and Nagakura, even after you’ve left them! I don’t understand humans, but isn’t that what friends are for?!” I believed in you, too, he adds voicelessly. And I saw them believing in you.}</p><p>Sanosuke is about to die, but he still wants to make up for what he has done and what he hasn't done before. Kyo is the only one who can help him now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I: The only one I have left

**Author's Note:**

> At first, I want to say that I'm sorry if Kyo and Sano aren't completely in character all the time! I just made up the idea for this and I wrote it down before it could disappear, and I hope their characters harmonize at least a little!
> 
> The second thing I want to say is that I have no idea how demons live in Hakuouki since it's never mentioned in the game, anime or musicals. I just know that they live in clans, but not where and how, so in my fic, each clan has kind of an own village which the whole family lives in. Further, the method of healing people which is used by Kyo is also something I made up because... well, the idea suddenly was in my head.
> 
> The third thing I want to tell you is: Have fun reading! ^-^ Oh, and of course I'm always happy to read reviews!

“You okay, Harada?” Kyo asks, holding out the red spear to its owner. “Oi, can you get up?”  
The redhead takes it, braces himself onto it and gets up, a weak sarcastic smile on his lips. “You’re worried about me, Shiranui?”  
“N-no!” The demon feels his face heating up, so he turns away hurriedly. “Why should I be worried about you?! I’m not worried at all!” It’s a lie, but his rival doesn’t have to know this.  
“You’re blushing,” Sanosuke teases him, coughing a little. “What’s up, Shiranui? Do you feel bad?”

“I’m fine; you’re the one who’s wounded so badly he shouldn’t be able to get up! … You should go see a doctor,” he adds eventually.  
“You are worried.”  
“I’m not!”  
“You sound like a little child protesting against its parents,” Sanosuke chuckles.  
“…” Kyo remains quiet; he takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “You don’t have to be drunk to be like this, huh?”  
“Being drunk in a fight… is one experience I’d rather not make.”  
“Says the one whose hobby is drinking.”

They fall silent, then Kyo asks, “What are you gonna do now? After you’ve seen your doctor, I mean.”  
“Don’t know,” Sanosuke shrugs. “What about you?”  
“I’ll go back to my clan, I guess. It seems to be over, doesn’t it? There’s no need for me to stay here any longer.”  
There is, but he can’t admit it. He’s not like the female demon Kazama wants to marry so badly; he doesn’t even like humans, so he has no reason to stay he could tell Sanosuke now. “Will you go back to Aizu?” he asks just because he’s curious.  
“Saitou’s there,” the redhead mumbles thoughtfully. “I could, but…” He’s scared. Of course it looks like the war is over, but at what cost?  
Maybe everyone else of the Shinsengumi is already dead. Of course he hopes that isn’t the case, but the possibilities that it’s true are high.  
“…I won’t go back to Aizu.” For once, Sanosuke listens to what his heart wants instead of doing what reason tells him to do.

His weak heart which is scared, too scared, to hear the news about his friends, who have been with him for so many years, being dead.  
His weak heart which is too scared to oppose the Shinsengumi members who are still alive.  
His weak heart which feels so responsible for all the bad things which must have happened to his friends while he has been away.  
It hurts, it hurts so much, and he just wants to be able to cast away his feelings—or to have someone who can hold him and who will let him cry as much as he wants.

But he can’t cast away his feelings and he doesn’t have anyone to hold him either.  
He has to bear it all alone, so he fights back the tears he feels welling up in his eyes.  
The black-haired demon sighs and lifts up one hand to point towards west. “I have to go to the west. Uh… I’m off, then. Go wherever you want. After you’ve seen a doctor.”

“Heh,” Sanosuke laughs hoarsely, “you’re pretty persistent about the doctor. You sure you’re not worried?”  
“I’m not worried!” Kyo calls out once again and turns around. “I’m leaving.”  
Sanosuke watches him walk away slowly, as if he doesn’t want to leave him alone.  
The redhead also doesn’t want their rivalry to end. “Oi, Shiranui!” he calls after him, not really sure if this is the right decision. But he can’t step back now. “I’m going with you,” he says, slowly limping after him, bracing himself onto his spear.

Even breathing hurts, but he doesn’t care. He just walks towards his rival.  
“But… I’m going back to my clan,” Kyo replies surprisedly.  
“…Do they want to kill me, too?”  
“I don’t want to kill you. At least not now.”  
“That doesn’t answer my question.”  
“As far as I know you aren’t a demon yet, are you? My clan hates humans.”  
“Not every human is bad, you know.”  
“ _I_ do,” Kyo shrugs. He has known it for a long time already. “But they don’t. They’ll call me weak if they see me with a human. I’ve spent too much time with you, anyways.” He can’t tell him that he wants to spend more time with him.

After a few seconds of silence, the redhead wants to know, “Is it against your laws?” Until now, he has never cared for demons and their laws, but it’s different now.  
Right now, he actually is planning to follow a demon to his home; of course he has to think about it.  
Kyo remains silent. He should just say “yes” and leave, but he can’t, so he honestly answers, “Yeah… no… not really. There’s no specific rule about it; we just don’t _do_ things like bringing humans with us.”  
“So you think I’d let myself be killed by a few demons.”  
“You’re half dead right now. To clarify it, you’re half dead because of a few _humans_.”  
But Sanosuke can be pretty persistent, too. “You are with me. If you tell them that I am your friend, they won’t kill me, will they?”  
“And you say I’m the persistent one? When have we become friends, anyways?” For someone who claims to hate humans, Kyo has spent an awful long time trying to understand them. No, not ‘them’—he has tried to understand Sanosuke. Apparently, all his effort has been for nothing, though.  
“Don’t rivals become friends when they have no longer a reason to fight each other?” the redhead mumbles and actually looks a little sad and disappointed.

Kyo lets out a heavy sigh. This is what he always wanted, so why isn’t he happy right now?—Because he’s trying to protect Sanosuke. Because he doesn’t know what will happen to him when they arrive at his home.  
Because he doesn’t want to be the one responsible for his rival’s… his friend’s… death.  
“…You can come with me. But not in this shape you’re in.”  
“You want me… to be healed first? That’ll… take an eternity.”  
He’s right, but he’s referring to human methods of treating and healing.

Demons know another way, but for humans, this way is life-threatening.  
Kyo has never seen a reason to use this method, but right now, he feels like he should offer it to Sanosuke. He’s ready to do it, independent of Sanosuke’s decision.  
“If you drink my blood mixed with your own, your wounds will heal in a few seconds,” he says hesitantly.  
“You’re saying… you can heal me?!”  
“It’s extremely dangerous for a human,” Kyo continues honestly. “For demons, it’s perfectly fine and it doesn’t have any side effects for us, but for  humans…”  
“What will happen to me?” Sanosuke sounds very serious.  
“Your injuries will heal in seconds, but you’ll become… like me.”  
“A demon?” he mumbles with a breaking voice.  
“…Yeah.”

So it’s like drinking Ochimizu, at least from the theoretic point.

That makes the decision more difficult. He hates this medicine—he has even thrown away the flacon Sannan has given him—but he can feel his lifetime shortening. It’s his only option to survive right now.  
And, no matter what happens, he has to apologize for what he has done and what he hasn’t done, and this time, he doesn’t feel like doing that by cutting himself open.  
This time, he wants to stay alive, no matter which price he has to pay.  
_If it’s giving up my humanity_ , he thinks, _I’ll gladly pay that price. I have to make up for what I’ve done._

“Let me drink your blood,” he says, sounding a little stronger than before.  
“You sure?!” Kyo hasn’t been expecting this.  
“Demons don’t go crazy over blood, right? I’ll just have another hair and eye colour sometimes. Nothing will change, right? And your clan won’t have a problem accepting me.”  
It’s not that easy, but he isn’t able to see the real problems about him changing yet.  
_Humans can be very strong-minded_ , Kyo has to admit while leaning forward and taking Sanosuke’s sword out of his scabbard and cutting his palm open.  
It hurts, but only a little.

Then, he takes Sanosuke’s hand and carefully makes a small cut into the pale skin which seems to be so much whiter than his own, letting their blood flow together in his own palm.  
“This is your last chance,” he warns. “Now you can still say you don’t want to. In a few seconds, it’ll be too late.”  
But the redhead just laughs wearily. “You’re so gentle today, Shiranui… What happened?”  
Kyo doesn’t bother replying. He takes it that Sanosuke doesn’t care about what happens to him and lifts up his hand. “Here you go…”  
Sanosuke doesn’t understand what furies like about blood—in his opinion, it doesn’t taste well at all.  
But he can bear the bad taste.

The thing he can barely bear is the pain that follows only seconds after swallowing the blood.  
His whole body feels like it’s about to explode and he falls to the ground, breathing heavily, trying to fight back the pain.  
“I told you,” Kyo mumbles and tells himself not to move a finger in order to help Sanosuke unless the redhead begs for it.  
He doesn’t beg.  
He gasps, winces, whimpers in pain, but he is strong-minded enough not to scream until slowly, the pain starts to fade away.  
“This was… whoa…” He sounds so exhausted that Kyo almost thinks his strategy has failed.  
Almost. He has a little confidence in his demon powers after all.  
“You okay?”  
“As far as I can, yeah, probably. What’s gonna happen now? Am I a demon? How will I find out?”  
“At least, your aura doesn’t feel human any longer. I guess it worked. You should try to use your demon powers once, though, so we can see if I’m right.” This reminds him of Takasugi. He could’ve healed him like this, too.  
His tuberculosis would have faded away.  
But he has thought it wasn’t necessary. He has always believed that Takasugi would overcome the mortal illness through his willpower. So indirectly, it’s his fault that his best friend has died…  
Before he can get too nostalgic, Sanosuke calls out to him, “Is that it?”

Kyo looks at him and nods in surprise. “That’s… How did you know how to—”  
“Don’t know,” the redhead shrugs. “I just… well, _tried_.” That’s definitely the Shinsengumi’s way of doing things: They just _try_. If they fail, there’s still tomorrow to try it again. Even if that hasn’t been true in the last weeks when they’ve been fighting in Aizu and at Goryoukaku, Sanosuke hasn’t lost his Shinsengumi soul yet.  
It’s strange to see him with white hair and golden eyes. There are small cornets on his forehead, too, and he doesn’t look like the “old” Harada Sanosuke at all.  
“And how do I deactivate them?”  
“Uh… you just… _try_ to?” There’s actually no better way to explain it.

For every demon it’s just a standard ability, but Sanosuke is the first and only demon he knows about who previously was human.  
Well, there has to be a first time for everything.

“Am I fine for you now? I’m healed, I’m… a demon…” Sanosuke falls silent. Now he realizes what he has done.  
Everything has gone exactly the opposite way of what he would have liked it to go.

He has thrown away the Ochimizu in order not to be tempted by it and become a rasetsu—and now he’s a full-blood demon. Isn’t that worse? At least as a demon, he can’t go crazy over blood.  
He has tried to avoid demons, and now he’s going to live with them.  
He has given up everything important—his friends, his dream and now his humanity.  
It probably would’ve been better if he had stayed alone and died; he wouldn’t feel so bad now.

“…Shiranui.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Can demons die?”  
“Of course. Why? Do you want to kill me, now that you’ve got similar powers?”  
“No,” Sanosuke mumbles and stares at his bloodstained clothes.

“Why—you’re not actually planning to kill yourself, are you?! Hey, what did I do this for, then?”  
The redhead looks up, his eyes dark of sadness and some kind of wrath about himself. “I’ve realized I was wrong! Probably everyone is dead… I don’t have the right to survive! Saitou, Hijikata-san, Heisuke, Shin, maybe even Souji—but not me! I don’t _want_ to be the only one alive after I’m the one who left them!”  
And then, Kyo’s hand slaps against his cheek, leaving a burning mark.  
“You idiot! Don’t you get it?! They’re not angry at you! They’ve always believed in you and Nagakura, even after you’ve left them! I don’t understand humans, but isn’t that what friends are for?!” _I believed in you, too_ , he adds voicelessly. _And I saw them believing in you.  
_

“Shiranui…”

“Aren’t _you_ the one who just told me you and I were friends now that we don’t have a reason to fight each other?! That’s why I helped you, dammit! That’s why I offered to heal you! If you don’t want to stay alive for them, to carry on their wishes and dreams, don’t you want to stay alive at least for me?!” the black-haired demon shouts. “You’re worse than me! You’re the second person I care for and now you want to commit seppuku a second time?! You’re so stupid!” He falls silent and sighs. “Do what you want. I’m not gonna stop you, but I’m not gonna tell you how you can die either.”  
With these words, Kyo turns around and slowly walks away.

Suddenly, he feels arms around his abdomen, a warm body on his back and a head resting on his shoulder.  
“…Thank you,” Sanosuke whispers, scarcely audible.  
“Just let go of me. If you still want to live with me, you can follow me,” he snorts, but deep in his heart he’s glad that Sanosuke has realized that he’s been wrong.  
“I’ll… follow you… everywhere…”

It isn’t a love confession. It’s just a fact that Sanosuke tells, and that’s okay for both of them.  
He just says this because Kyo is the only one he has left.


	2. II: Believing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that - of course - I don't know anything about Kyo's clan. In this story, he has an older sister who doesn't even say a single word... so she's really not important and you can gladly ignore her ^-^ I just used her to make the story look more... reasonable |D

“Sano,” Kyo sighs and sits down next to the redhead. “You’ve been absent for a while now. What’s bothering you?”  
Both of them have changed. Kyo is a bit more talkative now and not as sarcastic as he has been before—at least not with Sanosuke. Sanosuke is more quiet now. He doesn’t go drinking anymore, which could have the reason that the demons don’t have bars or red light districts at their home, and he thinks a lot more before he does something than he did earlier.

And Kyo isn’t happy with this. Sure, it’s good that his friend—he considers him his friend now that they share his room in the clan’s village and do more or less everything together—is alive, but on his first day with Kyo’s clan, he already has been different.  
Kyo’s older sister Yuki has happily accepted him and still tries to make him her boyfriend—she fails continuously, though. The rest of his clan hasn’t been too happy about a new member who isn’t part of the “family,” but they’ve also accepted him until now, so he can’t be worrying about the clan.  
“Kyo,” Sanosuke says quietly. “…I want to leave.”  
“What?!”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about this in the past week. It’s not because of you or your family, really! They’re all very nice, especially Yuki, but I don’t… I can’t… feel at home here, even if I’m a demon now. I guess… my heart is still human, after all.”  
This has been their secret all the time. They have never told anyone, not even Yuki who is absolutely reliable, that Sanosuke has been human before, and the other clan members certainly haven’t found out about it, too.  
“I heard an interesting rumor when I was in a human town last week. Something about Shin and Heisuke being alive.”  
“Nagakura and Todou…?”

“I have to go and find out if it’s true, Kyo. They are my best friends. Just me considering you one of my best friends now, too, doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about them.” He really is serious about this, Kyo can see it in his eyes. They look as strong-minded as they have been when he has decided to follow Kyo to his clan.  
Almost one year has passed since then, and now he seems to realize that he doesn’t match with real demons.  
Anyone else would say, _He still thinks like a human, even after this long time with us demons_ , but Kyo just thinks, _He still thinks like himself_.  
He nods slowly. “Fine by me. I’ll leave with you, then.”  
“You don’t have to…”

“Did you forget? You’ve been the one to say you’ll follow me everywhere. You can’t just leave me back here.”  
The black-haired demon has exactly one person who he is loyal to, and this person is Sanosuke. Previously, it has been Takasugi, and when Takasugi died, he has spent an awful long time looking for someone trustworthy to be loyal to.  
This someone hasn’t been Kazama or Amagiri but Sanosuke. He can’t imagine letting him go alone now.

Two days later, they’re walking around in the town Sanosuke has told Kyo about.  
“Did you hear anything about the Shinsengumi?” the redhead asks everyone who crosses his way. “Do you know anything about them?”  
A few people just deny it, some others plainly say, “Yeah. Their captain, Hijikata or whatever was his name, died at Goryoukaku.”  
And every time Sanosuke hears about Hijikata’s death, it feels like someone slowly stabs his heart again and again.  
Kyo watches him in some kind of anxiety because it seems like his personality slowly is breaking.  
Then, on one day, they’ve made it back to Aizu already and are asking around there, a young woman nods.  
“The Shinsengumi? Yes, I’ve heard about them. It seems to have been a very tragic story…”  
“Have you also heard about what happened to them after Hijikata fell at Goryoukaku? Are all of them…” Sanosuke swallows hard before saying this word he hates so much. “Are all of them… dead?”

The woman looks at him thoughtfully. She stretches out her hand and shoves away the redhead’s black travelling cape, discovering the clothes he wears.  
He still wears the same western clothes he has worn back then, when he has still fought with the Shinsengumi, and sometimes clothes similar to the ones he has worn before they’ve caught up with the western style.  
Her eyes widen in surprise and she bows deeply in front of him. “Sorry for not recognizing you,” she whispers, voice shaking. “You’ve changed so much, Harada-san…”  
“Chizuru,” he mumbles. “Kyo, I’m gonna have a word with her. You wanna come?”  
“I can leave you alone, if you want.”  
“I asked you if you want to come with us, not what you think I want.”  
“…Oi, female oni.” Even one year later, he can’t stop calling her this way. “Do you want to talk to Sano in private or is it okay if I come with you?”  
She smiles at him brightly, tears of happiness running down her cheeks. “It’s okay for you to come with us.”

“I’m so glad you’re alive, Harada-san!” she sobs happily and buries her face on Sanosuke’s chest. “I already thought you were dead…”  
“I’m not gonna die that easily,” he replies and winces at his own words. Right, he has to tell her about himself being a demon now. “Especially not now…”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I… Kyo has…”  
“I’ve healed him,” the black-haired oni shrugs and shoves a dango ball into his mouth. “But he became a demon during the process.”  
Chizuru’s eyes widen again. “Harada-san, you’re…?”  
“Yeah…” He looks away kind of sadly. “Hit me if you feel like it. I deserve it.”

But she doesn’t hit him. She just takes his hand and squeezes it. “You’ve done what you thought was right. Even if I hit you now, I’d have no right to do so. I’m just glad you’re not dead. That’s everything I want to know.”  
Sanosuke sighs. _Why does she always have to be so gentle and forgiving?_ This almost makes him want to cry. “Do you know anything about Shinpachi and Heisuke?”  
“Heisuke-kun…” She swallows hard. “Heisuke-kun and Sannan-san are dead. They died because of Ochimizu and turned into ashes. And I’ve been told that it’s been the same with Okita-san.”  
“Souji, too…” He clenches his fists. “And what about Shinpachi?”

“I heard Nagakura-san joined a dojo in Ezo. As far as I know, he’s giving kendo lessons there now.”  
“Shin, a teacher?” A humorless laugh escapes Sanosuke’s lips. “Ah, well. Thanks, Chizuru.”  
“No, I’m the one who should thank you. I should thank you for fulfilling my wish and being alive.” Chizuru smiles at him, she smiles her adorable and beautiful smile everyone loves about her. “You’re living with Shiranui-san now, did I get this right?”  
“Uh, yeah…”  
“That’s wonderful! I’m glad you aren’t enemies anymore. Shiranui-san, please take care of Harada-san, okay?”  
“I-I will,” Kyo replies with a slight hint of surprise in his voice. “Oi, not that I’d be interested, but… what are you doing here? I only saw Blondie coming back without you, so I guess you managed to throw him off?”

The woman chuckles amusedly. “I wouldn’t say it that way, Shiranui-san. I want to live among the humans in order to help them avoid wars like the ones with the Shinsengumi; that’s what I told him—and he told me to do as I please as long as I don’t give up my pride as a demon.” Small tears are appearing in the corners of her eyes, and she wipes them away, but her voice is still trembling a little. “Even although he tried to kidnap me so many times, I’m very thankful to him in the end.”  
“That’s so like him, heh…” Kyo sighs, but he smiles a gentle smile he has never shown anyone before. “If I see him, I’ll tell him that you’re thankful. _If_ I see him.” _Not that I’m gonna see him voluntarily._  
“We’ll make sure to tell him,” Sanosuke smiles and gently pats Chizuru’s head. “You’ve set yourself a good goal, Chizuru-chan. Make sure you can believe in your goals and dreams until your life ends.”  
“I will! And you do so, too, Harada-san, Shiranui-san!” Now she really cries, and Sanosuke hugs her.  
“If it’s you, Chizuru… I’m sure you can make your dreams come true. Unlike me…”  
“No!” she objects and shakes her head, her eyes full of hope, happiness and love. “I’m sure you can make your dreams come true, too! Even you, Shiranui-san! I’ll keep believing in the two of you and in Nagakura-san!”

“She’s kinda cute, though,” Kyo admits when they leave Aizu to travel towards Ezo.  
“She’s able to believe,” Sanosuke sighs heavily. “It’s easy for her to talk.”  
“You think it’s easy for her?” the black-haired demon asks.  
He has spent so much time learning how to understand the humans—even if it isn’t useful for understanding Sanosuke, it’s still enough for understanding Chizuru.  
“She had to see her comrades die. Well, not really, but she came to the places they died at just a short time to late. She and Kazama arrived at Goryoukaku a few hours after Hijikata’s death. You really think it’s easy to come to a location and see or hear that one of your friends has just died there such a short time before your own arrival and you had no chance to help him?”  
“…Probably not…”  
“You see?”

They fall silent and against every expectations, they manage to stay quiet for the next two hours.  
“We’re one day from Ezo,” Kyo states. “We should sleep now, then we can arrive there tomorrow evening. We can look for Nagakura’s dojo on the day after tomorrow.”  
Sleeping and travelling has been their daily routine for the past days and Sanosuke really hopes that after spending only a half day with Chizuru in Aizu, they will be able to stay in Ezo for a longer time. He has so much to tell Shinpachi, and so many questions to ask him—there’s no way he can just leave after only a short time with his oldest best friend.

They arrive in Ezo half a day later than Kyo has foreseen due to some difficulties with the guards at the town walls, but they set off to look for Shinpachi’s dojo immediately.  
When they find it, the students gather around them, shouting: “We won’t let you in here! We’ll protect Nagakura-sensei!” which tells them that this definitely is the dojo they have been looking for.

“Uh, you see, we’re old friends of Shin—eh, of Nagakura-sensei,” Sanosuke tries to explain, his heart beating faster in a thrill of anticipation to see Shinpachi. “If you please could let us in… Anyways, did something happen to him?” he then asks worriedly.  
“We’re not going to tell you!” one of the students calls out, but another boy runs off to enter the house which apparently is the training hall.  
A few minutes later, nobody has moved from his spot, but the boy comes back, a man lurching after him.

“Shin!” Sanosuke calls out and makes his way through the mass of students at any sacrifice. He catches his best friend just before he can collapse on the ground while Kyo tries to hold back the students from running towards them.  
“Shin, are you okay?”  
“Sano…” the brown-haired man slurs. “I’m drunk…”  
“I can see it. Argh, you’re so stupid… aren’t you an example for your students?”  
“They don’t drink…” His voice hasn’t gotten much clearer, and Sanosuke sighs.  
“I’ll take you back to your room. Come on, it’s just like always.”

He carefully carries Shinpachi to his room which is shown to him by one of the students and lays him down on his futon.  
The whole night—no matter how many times Kyo comes in to tell him he needs to sleep, too—he stays in Shinpachi’s room, sitting next to his futon and caring for him when he wakes up from strange dreams caused by the amount of alcohol he has drunken on the previous day.  
When Shinpachi finally wakes up, he holds his head and mumbles something about a terrible headache and a dream that apparently has had Sanosuke and Kyo in it.  
Then, he spots Sanosuke who is really there and falls around his neck. “Sano! You’re really here!”  
“Of course I’m really here, dumbass,” Sanosuke smiles tenderly and hugs him back.

“When Chizuru sent a mail to me… I thought someone was trying to fool me. I started drinking again—yeah, you’re hearing right, I’ve stopped drinking—and… well… it seems it hasn’t been too good for me.”  
“It’s okay, Shin. It’s okay. I’ve got an awful lot of things to tell you—and a lot of questions! But you have to get well first.”  
“Nah, I’m fine. You know me. So, go ahead. Where have you been?”  
“…With Kyo.”  
“With… Shiranui?”  
“Yeah. He… he turned me into a demon.”  
“What?! I didn’t know these bastards were capable of doing things like this… I’ll kill him for you, just you wait!”  
“No!” Sanosuke cuts in hurriedly. “I chose this path myself. I would’ve died if I hadn’t drunk his blood.”  
“You’ve drunk his blood?”  
“Yes, I have. As I told you, I would’ve died if I hadn’t! You don’t have to kill him. He’s not our enemy anymore.”

“So… you have to leave again soon?”  
“I don’t know. I’d love to stay here, but…”  
“You can!” Shinpachi calls out hopefully. “Nobody knows about demons here. You can stay here, you can have a normal life! You can be a sensei like me!”  
“As I said, I’d love to, but…”  
“No buts! Things are gonna be just like…” He wants to say ‘earlier,’ but he cuts himself off before he can say it. “…at least a little like in the Shieikan.”  
He’s right. The only difference will be that all the other men who have lived and practiced there with them are dead, and Sanosuke’s heart hurts once again when he only thinks about it.

“…You know Heisuke’s dead, don’t you?”  
“I do. Well… it… wasn’t it his own choice…?”  
“Would you have liked to see him die? To be with him and not able to do anything? We’ve been there when he’s chosen to drink Ochimizu…” The redhead stares at the wall so intensively that you can almost see a hole appearing there. “I hate it. I hate it that I’m a demon now. I hate it that all our friends are dead. I hate it that you, Chizuru and me are the only ones left.”  
“Sano,” Shinpachi says, taking his best friend’s hand. “You have to believe. Didn’t Chizuru-chan tell you this as well? Nothing’s gonna be fine if you don’t believe.”  
And he is right.

Sanosuke himself is the one who told Chizuru that he believes in her—and he does.  
He is the one who told her to believe in herself as well—and he’s sure she does. Because she always does what she’s told to do.  
He is the one who has been told to believe in himself by her.  
And still, he doesn’t. Because he is one of these insurgent men who sometimes don’t do what they’re told.  
Maybe he should try believing in himself, like he did earlier, like he did before making himself responsible for what happened.

And apparently, it works. He has learned one important thing: You can achieve anything if you believe in yourself and in your dreams.


End file.
